Wednesday, September 19

HEART..not vocal chords

i can't sing, i really can't. you may disagree, but you've been fooled.

let me clarify.

i have had laryngitis for the past week. can't talk much. somehow i got it on a week where I would have to sing in front of people 3 times. God has a sense of humor, doesn't he?

anyway, sunday, after a painful shot of pure lemon juice and honey, i felt like it was okay. well, okay, i didn't really care. that's what's wrong with me. i freaked out from wednesday to sunday because i didn't think my voice would hack it. but the second i slipped my shoes off and sang the beautiful words of worship, i honestly couldn't have cared less whether anything was coming out on key. because i HAVE to sing with my heart. or i can't sing. i promise.

tuesday rolled around and my voice was even scratchier. i was worried until i got up there, took a breath, and sang while listening to about 30 women BEAUTIFULLY singing in my direction. i didn't care. it was okay. but it wouldn't have been if it was a celine dion pop hit. because i HAVE to be singing with my heart. fully. or i can't.

i have a wedding to sing at this weekend. caleb and i practiced tonight, and it was a joke. i just laughed at myself because i sounded like a moose (not sure why i used this audio example). forgive me brittany and steve, i don't know why you hired me.
musicals sounded okay because i was just being as silly as i could and i was just trying to make people laugh.
recitals: my voice is shaky and i want to faint.

but i have this theory that no matter who it is, when they are singing in true worship, they will sound beautiful to God. which is what matters. and i love that. i would MUCH rather someone behind me be singing with their heart, and nothing coming out of their mouths is on pitch, than someone who thinks they're the Kelly Clarkson of worship songs.


Sarah said...

Oh Anna how I love to laugh at your blogs! Well, I really really enjoyed your singing Sunday ( I was at the 2nd service). I really got into it b/c I knew you were really into it. And, I know about the whole musical thing...I liked musical and I liked recital b/c well I was always given a character song...I didn't have to be myself I was that character. Just remember when in church you are singing for an audience of one = )

jaki good said...

amen sister - i mean cousin..