Saturday, September 15

cake it on

i put an extra amount of make up on today desperately trying to hide the raw emotion beneath it. caked on mascara and eyeliner in hopes to distract from the bloodshot, strained eyes underneath.

why do i--why do we--do this? it's a joke, really. everyone knows everyone has their junk. and we hide it?

sometimes i find myself hiding it from God, which is even funnier. it's like he knows. and i know he knows. and he knows i know he knows. and i still pray "god, thank you for what i have", and him and i know deep down i'm pissed for what i don't have. nothing materialistic, but what i'm not pleasing him with yet.

no matter how hard i try, people will always see the negative. people will always see what i'm not doing right. no matter what. i need to write that on my wall. and they're right. but it's okay that they're right.

wisdom is my goal. i am putting an estimate in when i'll get it and it's age 95. and since i'm so determined to get even an inkling of wisdom, i will go on a diet today so that i will make it to 95. yep.


lauren. said...

we've all got our junk...


Sarah said...

Lauren is right everyone has their junk and that is why we can't be quick to judge others for their junk. With that said, I think you see more of you than you think "others" see. I see an amazing, intelligent, and strong woman!