Wednesday, March 5

emotionally invested

I was offended when my therapist/friend told me I wear my heart on my sleeve. Realizing that was, in my opinion, a negative label, she rephrased:
" You are emotionally invested."
Although this seemed more appropriate, I was still hesitant to accept.
Emotionally invested? How completely pansy is that?
Since then, I have been squinting my eyes every once in a while trying to convince myself that this could not possibly be true.

But it is so, so true.

In fact, I am emotionally invested in nearly every aspect of my life:
-I never just kind of like an artist, movie, or a musical.
-When I meet someone whom I find interesting, I want to be GREAT friends with them.
-If a song invades my soul, I want everyone else to experience it, even if it means attempting to sing it, humiliating myself at River Valley.
-A great book? I will read it over and over until it doesn't make me cry anymore.
-And words...I analyze, dissect, chew and rarely forget the things people say to me.
-I will forever be deeply scarred by hurtful relationships.

I emotionally invest. The most risky way to live.
Sometimes it hurts so bad.
But I don't think I wouldn't have it any other way. As cool as the aloof, don't-give-a-damn type of person looks on the surface, I can't imagine living that way.
I guess I am willing to take the risk.

It feels a little more like living.


steve said...

you are emotionally invested. And i have been humming that song you sang at church last Sunday all week long. What was it called?

"Who's Anna?...Who's Anna?"

LOL. : )

Roogles said...

I was going to say something deep, touching, and profound...

And then I saw that Steve commented, and I was so shocked that I lost my train of thought...

I figured he had forgotten how to use the internet.

Really though... The fact that you emotionally invest is what makes you passionate and I've been saying for a long time that your passion for whatever you throw yourself into is my favorite of your many endearing qualities!

And even though it can be painful, I really do believe it is better!

Sarah said...

This is my favorite post of yours so far. Thank you for writing this. What you have written is strangely familiar right now and may even inspire me to write my own post.