tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20692836922927215292024-03-13T21:43:35.535-07:00a wretch like meannahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-58161505838047994042008-05-07T13:26:00.000-07:002008-05-07T13:28:48.580-07:00Hey all,<br /><br />I've decided to get a new blog name. gotta-keep-singing.blogspot.com was just getting too annoying to type, so I've made a new one.<br /><br /><br />dnalepocanna.blogspot.comannahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-71901397102917629682008-05-05T14:50:00.001-07:002008-05-05T15:06:44.940-07:00oh bother<a href="http://tersie.blogspot.com/2008/04/something-to-write.html">This post</a> of Tersie's describes by exact situation.<br /><br /><br />Lately, I'm just feeling emotionally exhausted. Disconnected. Distant.<br /><br />At least I'm not so deep in this crappy state that I can't talk about it with perspective. I am recognizing it, saying it's a problem, and that it will eventually end.<br /><br />All I know is that something needs to change...and when something does (notice my abundance of patience), I'll write about it on this thing.annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-57449332636647909422008-04-29T07:46:00.000-07:002008-04-29T08:11:13.251-07:00l o o ki am a girl of doubts.<br />lately i have actually doubted the realness of God's plan.<br />i have been bitter and angry.<br />pleading for God to just make ONE THING work out for <em>me.</em><br /><br />i went to see <em>The Color Purple</em> on sunday and everytime the cast sang "look what God has done", it was as if i were the only one in the room.<br />truly overwhelming.<br /><br /><strong>look what God has done.</strong><br /><br />millions of things.<br />in my personal life, and in general--things i just get to look at and somehow be a part of.<br />people really do care about me.<br />i can have healthy relationships in my family.<br />i have endless opportunities to help people in my country.<br /><br />life is so confusing and can be so unbelievably hurtful.<br />but <strong>look what God has done.</strong>annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-47398048777252258862008-04-15T06:50:00.000-07:002008-04-16T12:08:40.385-07:00Oh, Shantytown.<p>Of course there are happenings in my life that are much more worthy to blog about, but I am choosing to hold off on them for a while. I have found that blogging in the midst of crisis causes me to lack perspective. I will eventually blog about my aunt Joanie, my summer plans, my new thoughts about peace (not really a crisis), and of course, my amazing, amazing grandmother.<br /><br />But for now, I have some thoughts about something on a somewhat lighter note. I really don't want to rant. I don't want anyone to remember me as a "ranter", so one of my goals for the current time is to set aside my soapboxes and learn when to shut up. So here is my attempt to speak politely about my issues with something I would normally angrily rant about:<br /><br />Every year at SSU, student representatives from various clubs and organizations participate in "Shantytown". It's an all day/all night event to raise money for the local homeless shelter by and to raise awareness for the homeless in general. Students build their cardboard castles in front of Massie Hall, go to their classes and jobs, then sleep in the shelters they have created for the night.<br />In attempt to understand what it is like to be homeless, I suppose, they only eat what is donated by students and faculty on campus, and also "beg" for loose change from those.<br />The organization raised $800 or so, and I think the contribution to the shelter is fantastic. In my opinion, the simple fact that people from my university even <em>bother</em> is great. Really. I have no doubt that most of the students participating in this event have the best of intentions.<br /><br />I do have negative feelings toward certain aspects of the event...how the students I have come in contact with have either boastful attitudes or an air of righteoussness and how if I were a homeless person and witnessed this I would be both offended and disgusted, but more importantly, I think, is this:<br /><br />Is this really what we qualify as "reaching out"? Is that <em>it</em>?<br />I realize that not all, if any, of the students participating in the event are doing it <em>because</em> they are followers of Jesus.<br /><br />But it seems that we have limited ourselves to our <em>way too safe</em> comfort zone. Like handing over a dollar cheesburger and a "God Bless!" earns us our Jesus points for the day.<br /><br />I love the Message translation of Corinthians 13:3:<br />"If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love."<br /><br />BANKRUPT.<br /><br />So what would it mean to not just give to, but to <span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>love </strong></span><span style="font-size:100%;">the homeless</span> in our communities?<br /><br />I laughed out loud today when I thought about what could have been the equivalent for Shantytown in Jesus's time.<br />Jesus and his disciples roll in the dirt then gather in front of a temple with "UNCLEAN" written on their foreheads for Unclean Awareness.</p>annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-7798201031450272802008-03-26T12:44:00.000-07:002008-03-26T12:48:52.567-07:00despite life's stressors right now:I am so thankful for laughter.<br /><br /><br />You would think that after a while, I would get tired of Jordan's humor, but it seems I never stop laughing when he's around. He may be the funniest person I've ever met.<br />Today while I was in lecture, I started thinking about this stupid ritual he does when I'm leaving his house at night, and I lost it. As if the people in that class don't already think I'm a nutcase. He has been doing this stupid thing as he escorts me to the door for TWO YEARS, and I <em>still</em> almost pee my pants every time.<br /><br /><br />Also, there is something truly hilarious about potentially ruining someone's hair.<br />Here's what happens: these crazy girls trust me to color or cut their hair--something I am far from qualified to do. I ALWAYS talk them into doing something more drastic than they intended, and we ALWAYS just <em>go for it.<br /></em>And laugh so hard at the results.<br /><br />I fear a day when I might not be able to have perspective and laugh at certain situations.annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-52952502286837657782008-03-13T11:04:00.000-07:002008-03-13T12:03:19.711-07:00Book Review<a href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_YgixYcPxUng/R9l6KMpBZGI/AAAAAAAAADE/vEAWYGytsXE/s1600-h/eatpraylove.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5177303562249659490" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_YgixYcPxUng/R9l6KMpBZGI/AAAAAAAAADE/vEAWYGytsXE/s320/eatpraylove.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I finally finished Elizabeth Gilbert's <em>Eat Pray Love. </em>The reviews of this book are pretty much 50/50--love it or hate it. I can't committ to either side. If you would have asked me when I was halfway through I would have said YES, absolutely LOVE it. There were parts I was disappointed with, like the ending. But I have to say the best parts made up for all the not-so-great parts.<br />There were parts in particular that I found brilliant.<br />One is when she's describing her depression and lonlieness, as it hits her even when she's in beautiful Rome:<br /><br />"Depression and Loneliness track me down after about 10 days in Italy….They come upon me all silent and menacing like detectives, and they flank me. Depression on my left, Loneliness on my right. They don’t need to show me their badges, I know these guys very well. We’ve been playing a cat-and-mouse game for years now, though I admit I am surprised to meet then in this elegant Italian garden at dusk. This is no place they belong.<br />I say to them, “How did you find me here? Who told you I had come to Rome?”<br />Depression, always the wise guy, says, “What, you’re not happy to see us?”<br />“Go away”, I tell them.<br />Loneliness, the more sensitive cop says, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I might have to tail you the whole time you’re traveling. It’s my assignment.”<br />“I’d really rather you didn’t” I tell him.<br />He shrugs, almost apologetically, but only moves closer. Then, they frisk me. They empty my pockets of any joy I had been carrying there.<br />Depression even confiscates my identity, but he always does that.<br />The Loneliness starts interrogating me, which I dread, because it always goes on for hours. He is polite, but relentless, and he always trips me up eventually.<br />He asked if I have any reason to be happy, that I know of.<br />He asks why I am all by myself tonight, yet again.<br />He asks, though we’ve been through this line of questions hundreds of times already, why I can’t keep relationships going…<br />He asks why exactly I think I deserve a vacation when I’ve made such a rubble of my life.<br />He asks why I think running away to Italy like a college kid will make me happy.<br />He asks where I think I’ll end up in my old age if I keep living this way.<br /><br />I walk back home, hoping to shake them, but they keep following me, these two goons. Depression has a firm hand on my shoulder and Loneliness follows close behind me with his interrogation. I don’t even bother eating dinner; I don’t want them watching me. I don’t want to let them up the stairs to my apartment either, but I know Depression, and there’s no stopping him from coming in if he decides that he wants to.<br />“It’s not fair for you to come here” I tell Depression, “I paid you off already. I served my time back in New York.”<br />But he just gives me that dark smile, settles into my favorite chair, puts his feet on my table, and lights a cigar, filling the air with his awful smoke. Loneliness watches and sighs, then climbs into my bed and pulls the covers over himself, fully clothed, shoes and all.<br />He’s going to make me sleep with him again tonight, I just know it.</div>annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-33085723237553350832008-03-05T14:16:00.000-08:002008-03-05T15:06:01.416-08:00emotionally investedI was offended when my therapist/friend told me I wear my heart on my sleeve. Realizing that was, in my opinion, a negative label, she rephrased:<br />" You are emotionally invested."<br />Although this seemed more appropriate, I was still hesitant to accept.<br />Emotionally invested? How completely pansy is that?<br />Since then, I have been squinting my eyes every once in a while trying to convince myself that this could not possibly be true.<br /><br />But it <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> so, so true.<br /><br />In fact, I am emotionally invested in nearly every aspect of my life:<br />-I never just <span style="font-style: italic;">kind of like</span> an artist, movie, or a musical.<br />-When I meet someone whom I find interesting, I want to be GREAT friends with them.<br />-If a song invades my soul, I want everyone else to experience it, even if it means attempting to sing it, humiliating myself at River Valley.<br />-A great book? I will read it over and over until it doesn't make me cry anymore.<br />-And words...I analyze, dissect, chew and rarely forget the things people say to me.<br />-I will forever be deeply scarred by hurtful relationships.<br /><br />I emotionally invest. The most risky way to live.<br />Sometimes it hurts so bad.<br />But I don't think I wouldn't have it any other way. As cool as the aloof, don't-give-a-damn type of person looks on the surface, I can't imagine living that way.<br />I guess I am willing to take the risk.<br /><br />It feels a little more like living.annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-76371162657599844512008-02-28T14:32:00.000-08:002008-02-28T15:22:28.642-08:00as if what i say even matters...I am just so sad for us. For our country, for those who claim to be followers of Christ, and more, for those who don't.<br />I have realized this before, but today in particular all I can think is "We're ruining it".<br />Our God must be looking at us, his children, and weeping.<br /><br />We are pathetically in a constant battle of rising above everyone else:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I am "more Christian" than you because I vote conservative.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I am "more Christian" than you because I am a [enter denomination here].</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I am "more Christian" than you because I don't drink, smoke, or do any other "sinful" activity.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I am "more Christian" than you because my church attendance is up to par.</span><br /><br />This list of lies goes on and on. Satan must be so proud.<br />Why does ANYONE think they're qualified to make assumptions like this?<br />No one comes out and says it, of course. But you know they're thinking it. They make it obvious.<br /><br />We are ruining it.<br />When people hear "Christian", they cringe.<br />I cringe.<br /><br />When I am at school, and someone mentions being Christian, it's like a toxic gas of awkwardness looms over the entire room making everyone terrified they will be choked with judgment.<br />It has become a club. That only the righteous and disciplined can enter. Anyone else is automatically on a lower level of being.<br />I don't know much, but I know that this isn't what Jesus wants. It can't be.<br /><br />We need to be a community of people who are in this thing together, not in a constant battle of who is doing it better than the other.<br /><br />Pathetic.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">I am so, so sad for us.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">I am so, so sorry, Lord. Help us now. Because we are ruining it.</span>annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-12559802743689847152008-02-27T19:33:00.001-08:002008-02-27T19:44:40.234-08:00<span style="font-size:130%;"> heal my heart and make it clean.<br />open up my eyes to the things unseen.<br />show me how to love like You have loved me.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">break my heart for what breaks Yours.</span></span>annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-4579879407489912622008-02-19T20:04:00.000-08:002008-02-20T08:38:41.872-08:00booksI been tagged.<br /><br />I never thought I'd be a reader, but in the last few years of my life I have really found it to be a passion of mine.<span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"><br /><br /><br />1. One </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">book</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"> that changed your life<br /></span><br />Pretty much every book I have read has changed my life. But here are the ones that made me, like, freak out.<br /><span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">Jesus with Dirty Feet </span>by Don Everts<br /><span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">Traveling Mercies</span> by Anne Lammott<br /><span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">The Irresistible Revolution</span> by Shane Claiborne<br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">2. One </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">book</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"> you’ve read more than once<br /></span><br />I have read Rob Bell's <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">Velvet Elvis</span> three times. Once for a bible study, and I was so completely gullible the first time that I had to read it again to make sure I really loved it as much as I thought I did. The third time, just for good measure.<br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">3. One </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">book</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"> you’d want on a desert island<br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"><br /></span>I would say the Bible, obviously. But let's just say I couldn't be so cliche...I would bring Eugene Peterson's <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">Solo</span>. <span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"><br /></span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">4. Two </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">books</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"> that made you laugh<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">He's Just Not That Into You</span> by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo<br /><span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">Traveling Mercies</span> by Anne Lammott<br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">5. One </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">book</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"> that made you cry</span><br /><span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">Jesus with Dirty Feet </span>by Don Everts<br />This book started a revolution for me. Maybe the first book I read having anything to do with Christianity. It is incredibly simplistic and brief -- I was a pure mess after reading it.<br /><span style="FONT-STYLE: italic"><br />Everybody Wants to go to Heaven but Nobody Wants to Die </span>by David Crowder and Mike Hogan<br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">6. One </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">book you</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"> wish had been written<br /></span><br />Not sure about this one.<br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">7. One </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">book</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"> you wish had never been written</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_YgixYcPxUng/R7utVxKPvqI/AAAAAAAAAC8/S2nXnE5v42U/s1600-h/51d0Y7ij3QL._SS500_.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5168915586822946466" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 167px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 167px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_YgixYcPxUng/R7utVxKPvqI/AAAAAAAAAC8/S2nXnE5v42U/s320/51d0Y7ij3QL._SS500_.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">8. One </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">book</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"> you’re currently reading</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">Eat, Pray, Love</span> by Elizabeth Gilbert<br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">9. One </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">book</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"> you’ve been meaning to read<br /><br /></span>I am anxious to read <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">Jesus For President</span> by Shane Claiborne<span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"><br /></span>annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-63771895589414654712008-02-16T19:37:00.000-08:002008-02-16T20:14:21.631-08:00cronometrare per la vita diversaIt is amazing what can happen when one just disconnects for a weekend.<br /><br />Lately I have really been evaluating perhaps not THE huge purpose in my life, but the smaller, more subtle purposes I know I am supposed to or just want to address at this time in my not so significant 20th year.<br />I have prayed for and begun to succeed in the disconnection from the petty and irrelevant dramatic situations in my life and really tried to focus on what I believe is important.<br />Highlighted "goals" in this mini-journey are these:<br /><br />- learn to exude true hospitality<br />- learn to play the piano (at least so that I can say I am on the "beginner" level)<br />- learn to speak a reasonable amount of Italian*<br />- spend way more time in solitude<br /><br /><br /><br />* I realize the Italian deal is so random, but here is why:<br /><br />I am reading a book about a woman who, in a time of severe depression, decides to travel to three different countries to address three different things she believes are crucial to her making it. She travels to Italy to find ultimate pleasure, an Ashram in India for spiritual searching, and Indonesia to learn to balance the two. It is quickly making my Top Three list, and I will write more about the book later.<br />I have always loved the Italian language but never really saw a point in learning it. She addresses this exact thing, ending with "Since when does everything in life have to be strictly duty?". So, thank you Liz Gilbert. I am going to join you in learning and hopefully stick with it, unlike this diet.<br /><br />I feel surprisingly refreshed though. A new desire for change.annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-55021649978944156002008-02-07T20:45:00.000-08:002008-02-07T20:57:36.202-08:00restore to meon my way home from chillicothe tonight, i blasted this song as loud as it would go.<br /><br />my prayer...<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">hide your face from my sin</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">and cover my iniquities</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">create in me a clean heart</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">and renew a right spirit within me</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">don't cast me away from your presence</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">don't take your spirit from me<br /><br /><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >restore to me the joy of your salvation<br />restore to me the wonder of your love</span><br /></span><br /><br /><br /><br />ayyyyyyyymenannahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-77016523826209434502008-02-07T06:24:00.000-08:002008-02-07T07:39:31.359-08:00nothing wrong with a little rantI was watching Mean Girls. And at the end they sort of conclude that Regina, the meanest girl, is really just mean because she has low self-esteem.<br />And that's it. Poor Regina.<br />Our society LOVES this.<br />I cannot count how many times I have heard "Well, she is probably just saying that because she is insecure"<br /><br />Right....maybe.<br />But that's it? Off the hook?<br /><br />Our society is obsessed with the idea of low self esteem. It is like the ultimate diagnosis.<br />But to a degree, EVERYONE has insecurities.<br />So isn't it safe to say that it's not really a legitimate excuse anymore?<br /><br />I mean, sometimes I will be yelling at Jordan. And I am fully aware that my insecurity is what triggers it.<br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-size:100%;">So I</span> apologize.</span><br />I recognize that he is being penalized for MY issues.<br />What I did <span style="font-size:130%;">IS NOT OKAY</span>; I don't care what anyone says.<br />Insecurity is the reason for my behavior, but it is certainly not an excuse.<br /><br />It is so important to be compassionate. And forgiving. And to love people despite the way they treat you.<br />I love the idea of "turn the other cheek", and I am not suggesting otherwise.<br />But in most cases I just think the "low self-esteem" label is a total cop out.<br /><br />People aren't held accountable anymore.<br />We are all spoiled brats.<br /><br /><br />Yep, I said it.annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-53650830760032974682008-02-03T19:40:00.000-08:002008-02-03T19:56:42.171-08:00an important listthings i learned today:<br /><br /><br />1) humility is essential in every hour of every day. i recognize the fact that i am a <span style="font-weight: bold;">flawed </span>and<span style="font-weight: bold;"> broken </span>person and i <span style="font-style: italic;">have</span> to try to apply this fact to every situation that comes my way.<br /><br /><br />2) everyone has expectations...for everyone. almost always <span style="font-weight: bold;">impossible</span> expectations. these should to be demolished...forever.<br /><br /><br />3) PMS is sometimes the equivalent of schizophrenia.annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-9369870623633409992008-01-28T16:21:00.000-08:002008-01-28T16:28:01.716-08:00presentation=isolation ; revelation= real relationshipdown days. they're okay to have.<br /><br />it is very important to me to be the fighter that i am.<br />i take pride in beating the odds and not becoming what is expected of me.<br />i take pride in rising above.<br />circumstances make it easy and even desirable for me to crumble sometimes<br />but grace that i will never understand holds me tight and forces me to overcome.<br /><br />so, i do.<br />i just get through because that's all we can do.<br />this world is c r a z y and we just have to make it through.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">i am so young.</span><br />i get it.<br />but i know what i know,<br />and as little as it may be, it gets me through.<br /><br />i make it.<br />i wake up not so early and drink my coffee and get my therapy.<br />not the kind that costs money -- just the music in my car.<br />it seems to be just enough.<br />sometimes i nod my head in agreement with the lyrics -- what a dork.<br /><br />i like to be silly and write about my favorite candy;<br />it is so important to be able to lighten up.<br /><br />but if that's all i am remembered by, i haven't done it right.<br />i long to be a legend, like my uncle lewie.<br />in the most humble way possible -- the way he did it.<br /><br />to love --to truly love-- simply, with my life.<br /><br /><br />"he said to me, 'my grace is sufficient for you, for<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">my power is made perfect in your weakness.</span></span>'<br />...that is why i delight in<br />weaknesses,<br />in insults,<br />in hardships,<br />in persecutions,<br />in difficulties.<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">for when i am weak, then i am strong.</span></span>"annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-18610449756916466372008-01-25T10:50:00.000-08:002008-01-25T11:17:38.686-08:00why diets are impossible for me.I am a sucker for fun candy. It is a rare occasion if I don't have some form of candy in my purse. Here are my all-time favorite candies:<br /><br /><br /><br /><div align="center">Squeeze pops. Gooey liquid sugar in a tube. MMMMMMMM. Not the sour kind..the original. <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5159489578827269874" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 170px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 124px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="124" alt="" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_YgixYcPxUng/R5owb5BURvI/AAAAAAAAACk/Y0BLbJf3W9Y/s320/1.jpg" width="213" border="0" /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div align="center">SweeTarts Squeez. Sort of like the above healthy treat, but tastes like sweetarts. I especially like the cherry. There is actually an entire bulk order in just cherry! DELICIOUS.<br /></div><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5159491567397127938" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 177px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 109px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="109" alt="" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_YgixYcPxUng/R5oyPpBURwI/AAAAAAAAACs/o7cX5Sm2Cr4/s320/2.jpg" width="184" border="0" /></p><br /><br /><br /><p align="center">Bubble Jug. A jug of powdered sugar and tiny balls of bubble gum. The powder dissolves in your mouth like salt in the ocean. MMMMMMMM.</p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5159494088542930706" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 139px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 107px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="84" alt="" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_YgixYcPxUng/R5o0iZBURxI/AAAAAAAAAC0/ma8wNCVjT0g/s320/3.jpg" width="108" border="0" /><br /><p></p><br /><p></p><br /><p>Anyway, just thought I post a fun little blog about my fun little candy fetish. </p><p>Hopefully relevant to readers because of my fun little birthday February 15.<br /></p><p>You can find these candies in bulk at candywarehouse.com</p><p>=)</p>annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-5792508957137819062008-01-24T07:07:00.000-08:002008-01-24T07:08:39.601-08:00oh my gosh part 2what could be better than human tetris?<br /><br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/84_QL1kEmH4&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/84_QL1kEmH4&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-71787359758677063802008-01-22T13:03:00.000-08:002008-01-22T13:07:15.546-08:00oh my goshyou have to watch it at least until the last competitor.<br /><br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YOfZPZJHnKg&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YOfZPZJHnKg&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-77973578605644638692008-01-15T06:44:00.000-08:002008-01-15T06:52:27.205-08:00back to schoolIt's going to be a tough semester.<br /><br /><br />Screenwriting. I'm actually the most excited and interested in this class. It is refreshing to be in a class of creative people. Most of them are stereotypically artsy, which could be a good thing, but most of the time this stereotype comes with arrogance. There is an obvious competition in the air: most artsy, most creative, most completely-out-there. Regardless, I am excited. Maybe I will be America's Next Top Screenwriter. <br /><br /><br />The other classes completely run together: Survey of American Lit, Contemporary British Lit, Intro to Lit. A LOT of reading. A LOT A LOT. <br /><br /><br />So I'm back in the swing of things I suppose...annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-7835385527534933482008-01-07T20:47:00.000-08:002008-01-07T21:19:39.656-08:00let it goMy sweet devotional forces me to read Leviticus--to be honest, a book I probably wouldn't get into otherwise. <br /><br />In Lev. 16:20-30, this Aaron guy is instructed to lay his hands on a goat, confess all the sins of the people of Israel (talk about an ear-full..uhh, head-full) and this goat was sent into the wilderness. <br /><br />I thought this was so cool. <br /><br />It then gives these instructions:<br /><br /><big>Experience the feeling of transferring your sin to this animal.</big><br /><br /><br />In the section that gives you an idea of how to apply the passage to your life situation, it says this:<br /><br /><big>Quiet your mind and wait on God to show you situations in which you need to remember what you just did.</big><br /><br /><br /><br />I just might have to get into this Old Testament stuff :)annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-30950266635529786032008-01-06T14:38:00.000-08:002008-01-06T14:56:57.753-08:00how's that working out for you?The message hit it on the head this morning. Forgivness is so messy in my life. One of the main reasons for all the dysfunction. I'm not good at it.<br /><br />"We don't want to know they have the power to hurt us."<br /><br /><br />Right. <br />So i get hurt and IGNORE. <br />They'll get the point.<br />They will SEE that I'm hurt. And evaluate themselves. <br />If I deal with it addressing the issue, they (and I) will know that they have the power to hurt me.<br />And in giving them that power, I become vulnerable.<br />I don't really do vulnerability.<br />So I'm sitting there thinking "Yeah, that's me. Tough shell."<br />then...<br /><br /><br />"HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU?"<br /><br /><br />Just had to put that in there, Steven.<br /><br />Well, it's not working out for me.<br />It makes things worse. It hurts worse.<br />And I just want to scream sometimes.<br /><br />To be honest, Satan sometimes whispers that I deserve it. So this adds to my retreat.<br /><br /><br />The truth is that I don't deserve it. <br />And the "hurter" doesn't deserve my cold shoulder either.<br /><br />What would it be like if now, after all of my ignoring, I finally set myself free?<br />It's a scary thing to think about.<br />But I feel very strongly that this particular thing is what God is calling me to do.<br />Calling everyone to do...<br /><br /><br />"But now, I want to lay out a far better way for you." 1 Corinthians 12:31annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-16432783229657608712007-12-27T12:42:00.000-08:002007-12-27T12:53:10.315-08:00dramatic it may be..i officially hate the media.<br />maybe even generally the medium of television.<br />it makes me sick...brought me to tears today.<br /><br />headline: apparently there is a frazzle about paris hilton not getting the multi-million dollar inheritance from grandpa.<br />same same same...<br /><br /><br />FOCUS, people.<br /><br /><br />i have one of those really old, dusty TVs.<br />it's SO out of here.<br /><br /><br /><br />any takers?annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-80955051631828262212007-12-26T09:34:00.000-08:002007-12-26T10:01:39.653-08:00another try at shallowi have so much to say. but i think i'll stick to something on a lighter note.<br />it was a great christmas, maybe the best ever. there were some people missing, but God certainly found a way to make up for it in a way.<br />i honestly think this is the first year the presents haven't been the primary thing on my mind.<br /><br /><br />as for something to blog about, i have been seeing a lot of "best of 2007" blogs around, so i think i'll shorten mine into one post. i think this will be really cool to look back on.<br /><br /><br />best movie: august rush<br /><br />best song: "embracing accusation" shane and shane<br /><br />best book: "sex god" rob bell<br /><br />best devotional: "solo" eugene peterson<br /><br />best christmas present: jordan got me tickets to "the color purple" in april with my broadway girls :)<br /><br />best moment: probably last night when luke, danielle, jordan, and i were having a great talk.<br /><br />best new friends: julie pekkala and julie evans. i love these women!<br /><br />best dylan quote: "yeah! dats a gweat idea! i wike da way you fank."<br /><br />best blog "i paint, then i think" by jaki goodannahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-77858458862915497352007-12-19T07:50:00.000-08:002007-12-19T09:02:26.718-08:00dylan and worms"dylan, what do you want for christmas?" -jordan<br />"hmm, 'et me fank...worms." -dylan<br /><br /><br />couple days later...<br /><br />(dylan is scratching his butt with mason's video game right before i hand it to him)<br /><br />"dylan, why are you scratching your bottom with that?"<br />"cause i dot worms.."<br /><br />this is one of the many "worms" references he comes up with.<br />what's the deal?<br />i don't even think he's ever seen a worm.<br /><br /><br /><br />another cool thing:<br /><br />a professor at Yale(i believe) decided to raise his boys as girls and his girls as boys. he gave the girls trucks to play with and the guys dolls. apparently he wanted to study the effects of learned and natural behaviors.<br /><br /><br />get this...<br /><br />the girls decided to have a mommy and daddy truck.<br />the boys bended the dolls' legs and used them like guns.annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2069283692292721529.post-49096792056581052422007-12-10T14:55:00.000-08:002007-12-11T06:26:15.667-08:00Can you give me ONE LOGICAL reason to believe that God exists?<span style="font-size:100%;">I have been recently reading the posts from a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Facebook</span> group called "</span><span style="font-size:100%;">Can you give me ONE LOGICAL reason to believe that God exists?"<br />Sometimes things like this beat a good book.<br /><br />Here was the thing that left me completely sad:<br />One guy posted<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:130%;">"I can give you a bunch of reasons why I know God exists, but here is my favorite one...<br />The written and spoken and language was developed by MAN. It is different, and we don't all understand each other.<br />But the emotional language, is the same all over the world. A smile means the same thing wherever you are. You can tell when someone is happy, sad, angry, anxious, or anything else, regardless of what country your are in or what spoken language is prevalent.<br />Our world is too complex, yet to logical, to think that it all happened by chance. I don't care what God you believe in, I believe we are here by intelligent design, the work of a creator... the work of God."</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">The sort of administrator of the group came back with this:</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">"Emotions are the results of synaptic cascades within the primitive </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" style="font-size:130%;">limbic</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> system... fear and aggression are mediated in the </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" style="font-size:130%;">Amygdala</span><span style="font-size:130%;">... pleasure in the nucleus </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" style="font-size:130%;">accumbens</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> .<br />More sophisticated emotions have some </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" style="font-size:130%;">neocortical</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> involvement to be sure, but they are all there as evolutionary products, and contain within them no transcendental properties.</span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:130%;">"</span><br /></span>annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01035304637727640783noreply@blogger.com2